Buying the Space Farm
by bejome
Summary: "You, Mr. Spock, you cannot even break a rule, how can you be expected to break bone?" - Events of ID from the perspective of a pointy eared hobgoblin (Spock) as he seeks retribution for a loss he did not think he would ever have to face, while balancing the blame for events that came about as results of Kirk's decisions made at Spock's behest. Spoiler Warning.
1. Buying the Space Farm

He had revisited this notion once before. Back when he had witnessed his planet destroyed. When he had lost his mother to a foolish chance of fate, this feeling had been there - along with many others, but this one had been the most prevalent.

Guilt.

_**I **__advised the captain to comply with Federation Regulations._

Khan was gaining speed at a rate that the Vulcan would have normally been impressed with were he not so bent on ending the man. There would be no capture now. Spock wanted Khan dead, and he would see it done or join his captain trying.

_**I**__ advised him not to kill Khan. To return him to Earth for a proper trial. _

Screams and the sound of shattering glass just up ahead informed Spock that his target had exited the building and was now on foot outside again. He vaulted over the ocean of glass spread out across the concrete and continued his pursuit.

The Vulcan spotted his mark, now flying across a busy intersection, and continued to give chase. The thought of caution was thrown to the wind has he followed in the maniac's footsteps. Normally, Spock would not have acted out in this manner. Logic was his weapon, and as such it dictated that there were few places Khan could hide. He had landed in the heart of Federation territory on Earth. He would soon be found and brought to justice and likely executed for the things he had done, but Spock had no desire to see this through properly anymore. Because of this man, his captain was dead.

_My friend is dead._

The thought bubbled up new wells of grief within Spock even as he leapt after Khan onto a launching garbage shuttle. As he struggled to maintain his grip, rage resurged within him, giving him the strength to hoist himself up onto the surface of the shuttle just in time for Khan to spot him and relieve him of his phaser.

_It is my fault!_

Spock considered his remaining options and realized that the battle was now even less in his favor than it had previously been, but he was not willing to cease yet. As the Vulcan regained his footing atop the shuttle he felt a sudden and unfamiliar thrill. Khan had now offered him a far more volatile outlet for his pain. This, he realized, was how the fight was supposed to be. Spock wanted nothing more than to inflict in this man physical torment equivalent to the agony in his heart, and Khan had just unknowingly delivered the circumstances by which the Vulcan could now follow through.

"_**Yo**_**u**_**…you can't even break a rule, Mr. Spock, how can you be expected to break bones?"**_

The words Kahn had spoken only hours ago were recalled in Spock's mind. Somewhere within him there was a small glimmer of excitement.

_Let me show you,_ the Vulcan thought menacingly.

These thoughts were unlike Spock in every way.

Normally, he was not a man of violence.

_But these beliefs are what started all of this._

Spock took one hit, and then another, unperturbed by the sheer weight of each blow, though it served as a reminder of what he was facing. For a moment the Vulcan had forgotten that he was fighting more than just a man.

_He is dead because he took my advice._

It was his turn now to deliver the blows, yet they seemed to fail in their exactness. Spock's rage was consuming him too much. He owed it to himself and to his captain to see this through, and he forced himself to swallow the anger, if only for a few moments, to properly focus and see this job done.

One hit, then another again. Suddenly Spock was on his back and could not fully recall how he had gotten there. Khan's speed was impressive, as well as frightening. Intense pressure began to squeeze at the sides of Spock's head, and the Vulcan could have sworn that above the din he could hear the sound of his own skull begin to crack.

_No! _

He would not die yet.

Spock struck out, giving him enough time with Khan, now distracted, to free himself from the man's grasp. As he did so, another exchange of blows commenced.

_He saved my life, but I could not save his!_

His anger now properly channeled, Spock's fist locked more accurately onto pressure points that were now clearly taking their toll on Khan. He reached out and this time grasped at his neck, pinching a vital nerve that would not cause him to lose consciousness but instead feel vast amounts of pain. Khan's knees buckled, but he was down for only a second before turning and, with one strike of his leg, momentarily relieving Spock of his ability to stand. The pressure came again at his temples, and it was all he could do to reach out and touch Kahn's face, hoping that a mind-meld would be enough to stop him in his tracks.

Spock transferred all he had to Kahn: his hate, his rage…his pain. The raw emotion that every Vulcan felt, but never showed, flooded into the mad men and rendered him unable to move. He stumbled away as Spock regained himself. Their eyes locked momentarily, and as the Vulcan raised himself up he saw Khan leap from the shuttle and onto another one. He was making his escape! He knew his window of opportunity was limited and was withdrawing. Spock would not allow that to happen.

_You will not get away!_

He calculated the likelihood of landing on the same shuttle given their trajectories and varying speeds and weights. Spock then threw the notion aside, knowing that a second longer of hesitation turned the circumstances less and less in his favor. He had no choice. If he was to finish Khan he needed to make this leap.

And he did.

The speed at which the shuttle was moving and an unsteady landing sent Spock spiraling backwards, grasping desperately for ground to prevent himself from falling. Khan, now aware of his returned guest, approached the Vulcan while a menacing growl escaped from his lips. The man's hand clamped like a vice on Spock's neck and with minimal effort brought him eye level. Brown and green eyes met, and for a second one simply read the other, judging his resolve and how much more it would take to break him in light of the circumstances.

_I cannot let him live._

Spock expected to be tossed from the shuttle, but Khan likely knew that that would not rid him of his assailant. With the Enterprise so near, they would only beam their First Officer to safety. The action would not end his life, so Khan would have to do it here. He tossed Spock to the shuttle and proceeded to hail him with blow upon blow. The Vulcan deftly deflected many of them, but many more landed. It was all he could do to meet Khan with strikes of his own. His rage was becoming tantamount again, and he knew that he would have to channel it once more. He could not fail. He _would not _fail this time. His last failure's price had been too high, and he would not permit another.

One strike, then another, a return blow, and then met with another. Spock was losing this battle faster than he was willing to allow logic to dictate to himself. This would not be won. He would die here. This reality made all the more evident when he was tossed again onto his back, Khan kneeling over him and pressing the sides of his head so that he might crush the Vulcan's skull.

Spock could taste blood in his mouth. Lights were beginning to flash in his eyes and he prepared to black out completely, until he realized that the lights were in fact Uhura energizing onto the shuttle's pad. Spock could have also sworn that he saw her set her phaser to stun, but that had to be a trick of the pain. When Khan became aware of her presence he reared on her, the Vulcan now forgotten to him. Uhura hit him once, slowing but not stopping him. Again, and again she hit him. Each time Khan was slowed but still not successfully stunned.

Spock took advantage of this moment and relished in his rage. He struck Khan, now dangerously close to Uhura, on the back of the head with a broken shaft of the shuttle. Khan rounded, crying out in rage and fear, landing one blow on the Vulcan's face. As he turned for another, Spock caught his hand and spun, using momentum to snap Khan's arm over his shoulder. The man screamed in agony.

_I have broken bone now, Khan._ He thought mercilessly as he straddled the now prone madman, preparing to strike at any part of his body that Spock could hit. _ And I will break all of them until I am satisfied that you have suffered enough._

Uhura yelled his name, but Spock was too lost in ire to hear her. Khan went down, not unconscious, but no longer able to fight.

Spock did not care.

_You killed my captain._

He punched Khan once.

_You killed my friend!_

Again.

_I will make you suffer!_

His knee found Khan's ribs, and the Vulcan derived great satisfaction from hearing at least two of the man's ribs break under the blow.

_I will make you pay!_

Spock struck him again. Uhura was still yelling his name but he would not listen.

_I will kill you for what you have done!_

The skin broke on his knuckles. Green blood now decorated Khan's face along with his own. Still Spock continued, relentless.

If his captain could have seen him now he might have been awed by the Vulcan's outburst of rage and emotion. But he might have also found it terrifying.

_I am…__**sorry**__…Jim…_

The rage was still boiling, but through the din he heard Uhura say something. She mentioned the captain. His gaze snapped to her.

"We need him alive!" She yelled. "It's the only chance we have to save Kirk!"

Spock's wrath was momentarily replaced with confusion. Save him? Kirk was dead. He had watched as the light left his eyes…

Unless… had he misunderstood?

The tears in Uhura's eyes and her pleading was enough to strengthen the Vulcan's resolve, but not before landing the final blow that knocked Khan out.

"What do you mean?"

But Uhura was not listening. She was already hailing the Enterprise. He waited for her to finish, his anger ebbing. When she had finished her hand pressed against his arm, tears still in her eyes.

"How will keeping him alive save the captain?" Spock inquired. "The captain is…" his voice broke even as he admitted it out loud "Jim is dead."

"His blood," Uhura stated, her chin pointed toward Khan. "It can restore living tissue. It could bring Kirk back."

His head swam with the impossibility she was implying, yet something inside of him yearned for this to be true.

"You are not certain?"

Uhura shook her head, biting her lip. "We're not, but it's worth trying," She stepped forward and took Spock's injured hand in her own. "Isn't it?"

The Vulcan dropped his gaze, contemplative. The notion seemed preposterous, but he knew Uhura would not have stopped him from killing Khan unless there was good reason. A few minutes ago she had wanted the man dead just as much as Spock did, but if there was even the smallest chance that Kirk could be revived…

He nodded. Uhura's grip tightened on his hand, her tears giving way to a hopeful smile that Spock found…comforting.


	2. Come Home

"I was just thinking  
It's been a long time  
Since I got to see you  
Tell you, I wish you were mine  
And so I've been sinking  
Into this dark place  
Cause I need to hold you  
Tell you, I'll never be fine  
Unless you come home  
I wish you would come home."

Joshua Radin "So Long Sunshine"

_Two Weeks Later…_

Generally Spock was not comfortable with the commonality of touching in human culture. He had made an exception with his mother because he had loved her, and her touch had made him feel safe in his youth. He knew it was also a way that humans conveyed strong emotions sub-textually, something again that Vulcans were not familiar with, making Spock all the more uncomfortable when McCoy had placed a hand on his shoulder reassuringly.

"He'll wake up soon."

Spock simply nodded his head in appreciation of the doctor's analysis, and then watched silently as he left the room.

The steady rhythmic beeps from nearby machinery assured Spock that Kirk's heart was beating and that his vitals were all functioning and reading properly. Spock cocked his head, surveying his captain and his friend in this serene state. For the first time in a long time Spock thought that Jim looked ironically well rested. The slow and steady rise and fall of his chest gave the impression of a calmness that was foreign for the great James T. Kirk.

There was still pigmentation distortion along his face and hands and a few deeper cuts that had not properly healed. At least one bruise had remained near his brow, but he otherwise looked unharmed. Impressive for someone who had been dead.

The Vulcan slowly approached the bed, glancing up toward the door once more to make sure they were alone. He supposed that he might be violating medical codes or perhaps even general human boundaries by what he intended to attempt, but he had to ask his captain one question, and by the power of whatever god or gods that might exist, his human side was currently affecting his level of patience. Slowly, Spock extended his left hand's thumb, index and middle finger and placed them gently – so as not to upset Jim's cranial injuries – upon the meld points on his face. He closed his eyes and waited, hoping to feel something that was a conscious remnant of his captain.

It did not take long.

'Captain?'

Something stirred within the recesses of the meld. Jim.

'Spock?'

The Vulcan was thankful that no one could currently see the relieved smile that had nearly curled both sides of his mouth in the moment that he had heard his friend's voice.

'Spock…what are you doing? Is this that mind-touch thing you do?'

'Yes captain. A mind-meld. It is a common gesture among my people.'

'But…you don't normally mind-meld with humans, I thought.'

'It is not uncommon if there is a strong link between the individuals.'

There was a silence, and Spock reached further, thinking that he might have lost his bond.

'So there is a strong link between us, you would say?'

Spock froze momentarily, realizing that he not lost the meld, Jim had simply been pondering the meaning of his first officer's words.

'We are friends,' Spock stated, a questioning hesitation lifting up the last syllable of the word in his voice. 'If I have offended you captain, I extend my apologies-'

A warm laugh perforated the energy of the meld, warming Spock in a way that he had not felt in a very long time. He quietly pegged away the thought of how much he enjoyed the unexplainable familiarity of James' mind and how it had the strangest feeling of home.

'No need to apologize, Spock.'

Relief washed over the Vulcan, and it seemed to have extended accidentally into the ether that was Jim's sub-consciousness. He felt his friend go lax beneath his touch in the hospital bed.

'Jim?'

'I'm here…what did you do?'

'I…extended my thoughts into you. It was not intentional.'

Another laugh; the warmth grew in Spock and he felt it prickle his skin with a strange kinetic energy. The Vulcan tamped down is confusion at the ease with which they shared their emotions through the meld. Usually it took practice and time, considerable effort and a great deal of trust for such a connection to manifest between two bonded Vulcan. The complications that arose between a Vulcan and a human were even more ample still. There was only ever one exception, and it was the answer that Spock had been seeking.

'Spock…are you okay?'

The question brought Spock back to the present.

'Yes captain, and I am relieved that you are as well. Your recovery was…unprecedented.'

Memory flashes came to Spock's mind, the Vulcan temporarily forgetting that Jim could see them as well.

Each relived in small pieces the moment shared as Jim had slipped away in the decontamination chamber of the Enterprise's warp core drive.

Scenes from Spock chasing down Kahn, the battle between the two men and Kahn's eventual defeat at the hands of a broken hearted Vulcan and flashes of words:

_'cannot break rules' _

_'how can you…break bone?'_

_'let me show you'_

The ether shifted around Spock's mind, and he reached deeper into the meld, thinking he had lost Jim again. Something grabbed at his free hand in the physical world, locking tightly around the wrist, then shifting to wrap around the back of his hand. Jim!

'You went after him!'

It was an observation tainted with anger and a croak of disbelief. The voice had become so strained that Spock wondered if Jim had become conscious while in the twine of the meld.

'Yes.'

He had no argument to justify his actions. Spock knew it had not been logic that had sent him after Kahn, although he had not understood other things. The emotion built in the ether once more, and Spock knew that Jim would feel his heart in the moments to come. His feelings opened to share the grief he had felt at having lost his captain, the pain and desire for revenge, and the feeling of loss and hopelessness. While it was true that Kirk and Spock had only worked together for a short time, what they had experienced together had strengthened their bond to something more, something neither man could put his finger on.

'Spock…'

Silence struck in the void and darkness between them. Instantly, Spock felt shame for his behavior. He had hoped that no one would see that side of him again, least of all Jim.

'Captain, please, you do not need to - '

'I'm sorry.'

It was Spock's turn to be silenced with his confusion.

'Spock?'

Something reached out to him from the shadows. Jim was beginning to manifest physically within the meld, a technique that normally humans were unable to do without practice.

'Yes, Jim,'

'I'm sorry.'

'For what?'

'I…' Jim trailed off, and Spock sensed the sorrow and guilt that Jim felt.

It was Spock's turn to reach out, and he momentarily brushed what felt like a shoulder. Jim still did not fully have a corporeal form, but he was getting there.

Something shot out and wrapped around his wrist in this realm, while Jim's physical hand held his in the real world. They were connected now on both planes, and the connection was solidified between them. Spock saw Jim in his mind's eye, unmarred by the events of the past. He simply was, and the image was beautiful. Sad blue eyes and a devilish smile captivated the Vulcan's attention and he waited to hear his Captain speak.

'I only wanted to save my family,' he said. 'I didn't mean to hurt anyone.'

Spock allowed himself to smile fully this time.

'You are alive and well now,' he surmised. 'I suppose I can forgive the transgression.'

Jim's grin widened, and it eased Spock's heart.

'You are my brother, Spock. I cannot thank you for all you did.'

'And you are mine,' the Vulcan assured him. 'There is no place you can go that I will not follow.'

The smile on Jim's face changed. It was not the usual smile of a man hiding his fragile nature, but instead the smile of someone who was finally ready to rest after a long and arduous journey; someone who had found a place to rest, a home.

'Likewise, Spock.'

Silence, not expectant but comfortable, and suddenly they embraced each other. Although it was through the meld, each drew comfort from the other's presence and touch.

'I will let you rest,' Spock stated after a while. 'But I will return.'

Kirk nodded as they pulled away from each other, the grin returned.

'I'm sure I'll be here.'

Spock bowed his head respectfully and slowly broke the meld.

He watched Jim's face for a few more moments in the physical world before taking leave, only remembering that Jim's hand was still wrapped around his own. He lifted the weakened hand in both of his, blanketing the cool and motionless fingers between his. He was sure the consciousness of Jim was able to feel him, and so he squeezed them gently in reassurance that although Spock had left, he was still with him and would return. He would always return, for the meld had assured Spock of what he had come to suspect two weeks ago.

"T'hy'la."


End file.
